Famed Ghanaian counsellor, Edem Adofoli thinks gifts buying should be a ritual to sustain relationships and marriages and not to wait on Valentine’s Day before getting your partner a gift.
More importantly, he emphasized that gift buying could ultimately mean nothing if it’s not bonded by love to enhance it. He this in a new post he made on Facebook.
His post reads;
“As we are ushered into the month of love, lots of partners are looking for creative ways to show their love to loved ones. Others are in town doing all sorts of window shopping ahead of 14th February whilst others have already ordered expensive gifts waiting for it to arrive or be delivered.
All these gestures are nice, thoughtful but not enough to sustain a lasting relationship.
It is sad to know lots of relationships are not relationships, but just two people pretending to be in love, pretending to be lovers. That is why it takes some people 365 days to be nice to their partner. It takes some people 12 months to get a chocolate for their loved ones. It takes some guys a whole year to get their lady a flower.
Even though people give these gifts just because it’s valentine; and others do so because everyone is doing it, they don’t realize the actual meaning in that. Although these gestures or gifts bring some sort of smile or happiness to their relationship or their partner, it doesn’t last for long.
These gestures are just like spices, the main meal or food in each relationship is faith in the relationship, trust for each other and loyalty. No one goes to the market to buy spices and cook just that to eat, you need the main meal. The spices add great taste to the food. You need them as much as you need the food. The two go hand in hand.
You can’t have a great relationship without partners having faith in the relationship; you can’t have a lasting relationship when partners don’t trust each other. You can’t keep a relationship where spouses are not loyal to each other.
Gifts and gestures are nice but just like spices no one eats them alone. What is a chocolate without trust in a relationship? Expensive gifts without loyalty cannot keep a relationship. So as you prepare to celebrate or rekindle your love with your partner, learn to have faith in your relationship.
If there is something that is making you lose faith in the relationship, this is a perfect time to talk about it and build your relationship from there. You can’t have love without trust; you can’t celebrate what you call to love without trust. So if there is anything that is making you not to trust your partner, this is a perfect time to iron that out.
You can’t have a lasting relationship when partners are not faithful to each other, be honest to the extent of talking about anything, be committed to the relationship so you can give your best. These are the very things that make a relationship a relationship. If you are in a relationship where trust, loyalty and love is missing, you don’t have a relationship.
These are not commodities sold on the market; you rather work to build them. Just waiting for Valentine’s day to get your partner gifts are not enough to sustain the relationship. You need to be honest and frank with each other. Know what you want and work to build that.
If you got your partner all the expensive gifts last year but things didn’t get better in your relationship as you expected, don’t conclude that he or she is ungrateful. You need to check the level of your faith, trust and loyalty in the relationship.
Maybe they were not happy even before you got them those gifts and it won’t take such gifts to make them happy, no matter the size of the gift. You need to know that flowers need a good environment to blossom, so when they don’t bloom, you fix the environment in which it grows and not the flower.
In conclusion, “Don’t lose your grip on Love and Loyalty. Tie them around your neck; carve their initials on your heart. Earn a reputation for living well in God’s eyes and the eyes of the people” – Proverbs 3:3-4 (MSG).”
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